If someone's coming & you need to leave this site quickly & safely, click here to be taken to Google!   Share This Webpage to Your Social Networking Sites!
 Join us on twitter to chat, meet new friends, & share resources

Forum Rules of Conduct

The rules of this site are designed to protect the members of Christian Survivors. We welcome you if you are honestly seeking to work on survivor issues in your life, and are willing to act within our rules when participating on our boards! At CS, our staff consistently work on the boards to maintain security and peace. We will always try to find a way to work through any problems with a member, before resorting to actions such as restricting access, or terminating a user account.

However, please understand that we will not tolerate trouble making, spamming, gossip, prejudice, manipulation, abusive or agressive behaviour, or 'preaching'. Serious or repeated breaking of the rules will not be tolerated in any circumstances. This policy and the following rules are here so that CS can be a positive and healing place for everyone to be!

Please note that in order to help ensure the safety of all the members of the forum, we have in operation a three strikes policy.

On the first offense of a serious breach of the rules, (or after repeated breach of more minor rules, despite staff intervention), members will receive a formal warning. Second, they will be placed on 'probation' - meaning a diminishing of forum privileges such as access, & private messaging. On the third warning, our admin will have no alternative but to ban the offending member from CS forums on a permanent basis. Should such a decision have to be made, reasons will always be clearly given, and a 'right to reply' will be given to that member, either via the 'Member Concerns & Resolution' forum, or by email.

Although we have the three strikes policy in place, our administration does reserve the right to instantly ban members in the case of a serious breach of rules, or where a serious conflict, harassment, or blatant abuse of any staff or member, or other safety issue is raised.

It is also important for members to be aware that our staff have a policy of accountability to one another, as protection for themselves, and the members they work with. If you discuss your situation, in private, with a member of staff, they may speak with other more senior staff about it, as a point of help or advice for them. These discussions are kept strictly confidential and you will be kept anonymous where possible!

Thank you, in advance, for keeping to these rules, and thus respecting our staff & members! :)

Regarding copyright on CSF

All information on this website and on the forum belongs to CS. (Unless otherwise stated) Permission must be requested in order to use it in any way. In circumstances where we find copyright has been infringed upon, we are willing to take relevant legal actions to resolve the situation.

All posts written in the forum area of CS are owned by their authors, and are not to be used for any form of research, or shown to non forum members, unless permission is gained first.

All contact from researchers regarding use of posts must come through the administrators of the forum, at which point they may or may not set up contact with relevant posters, if the permission of those members is granted.

General Rules

  • Please be courteous, kind, and respectful to other members on the forum. Name-calling, abusive behaviour, gossip, & and harassment of any type will not be tolerated. All our members are survivors of abuse, who could be severely injured by your words! Always try to treat others as you would like to be treated! If you find you have any problems with another member, please contact our Senior Staff using the Member Concerns & Resolution forum, and we can try to help to resolve the problems.

  • All of our staff are survivors of abuse also, and each of them do an extremely hard and demanding job, giving many hours of time and energy to keep the forum running, and safe ... and they deserve to be shown respect! It hurts us when forum members are rude, abusive, insulting, or inpatient with us - and makes it much, much tougher to do our jobs. Sadly, staff abuse is something that has been happening more and more often, and as a result, we have put in place a Zero Tolerance rule in order to protect our staff!

    We do appreciate that it can be difficult for members when our staff intervene on any aspect of their posting or membership, and that many survivors also have triggers, insecurities, and issues associated with leadership. However, these issues do not make it appropriate, or ok, for members to behave badly towards our staff. We would encourage members to try to seperate their triggers from what is actually happening on the forum, and to take responsibility for their own behaviour even when they are triggered for any reason. No member of staff would ever purposefully upset, hurt, or trigger any member of this forum - they are here to help you, and to keep the forum safe! They are simply enforcing the rules of the forum, which apply to every member.

    Due to the increase of abusive, rude & and hurtful behaviour towards staff, any such acting out will be viewed extremely seriously. On a first offence, the member in question will be placed immediately into the three strikes system, and continued behaviour will therefore result in the loss of your membership at CS. Please remember also that we reserve the right to ban a member instantly in a serious case of aggressive or abusive behaviour towards staff. (We do not want you to have to leave the forum, so please don't put us in that position!)

    Rather than lash out at staff members, we ask that if you have a concern, complaint, or a problem with a member of staff, or an issue with the way the forum is run, that you please use the confidential 'Member Concerns & Resolution' forum located in 'Fragile Hearts', to (politely!) contact the administrators concerning this. (Only the admin, senior staff, and the thread authors are able to view each thread, making the forum completely safe) There is no need for aggression in such situations - we will be happy to listen to and deal with any problems you are having, as long as you remain calm and polite. Please do not post an aggrieved, argumentative or dissenting thread on the open forum, as it will be removed. Posting such things only causes uneccessary stress, hurt, and worry for other members and staff alike!

  • If you want to post a message that may be potentially triggering, or upsetting, please be thoughtful and post it in the relevant "trigger" folder.

    We don't advocate the use of spoilers here but, trigger warnings in the title of a post are very useful. In certain situations, staff may edit a thread to add spoilers for everyone's safety - particularly if a thread changes in theme or severity of triggers as it goes along. This is not a reflection on you, just a safety precaution. Remember also, the trigger forums are there for a reason! Please use them for threads that are likely to be quite 'heavy' in nature! If you are posting a thread which may be triggering, please use a descriptive title. (for example, add *SA details* to the title of a thread which contains details of sexual abuse) - The importance of this is that it enables other members to self care ... choosing to read only the threads which are safe for them.

    As a general rule of thumb, we would say that if a post is stronger or more graphic in content than most of the posts in that forum, then it should be trigger warned. (If it is usual for that forum - for example, a post about emotions after abuse, in rainy days - then it needs no trigger warning because it is already in the appropriate forum!)

    Above all, we expect that each member acts responsibly in the forum! You know better than we could whether certain types of posts would be more triggering to you than others ... so we ask that you moderate yourself in these matters, and avoid threads which may trigger you! For more information on trigger warnings, and how to use our trigger forums, please see the 'guidelines on posting graphic or triggering posts', located within each public trigger forum, and the 'Everything you Need to Know About CS' forum.

    If you have littles .. please ensure that they are always supervised and safe when reading on the forum!!!! Obviously, because littles are just kids, there are things on the main forum that are simply not appropriate or safe for them to be reading. It is very comparable to having our own 'outside' children on the forum - it just wouldn't be appropriate for them to be reading in many areas ... you would want to monitor and screen what they had access to. We feel that littles both need & deserve this same level of care! You can find more detailed information regarding our DID posting guidelines, and the safety measures we have in place for inside kids, in the 'Everything you Need to Know' forum.

  • Please remember, many people who visit this site are in need of support, a listening ear, and kindness. Please treat them as you would like to be treated yourself! Christian Survivors is based around a philosophy of mutual care and support. The staff are here to supervise, and to provide safety and leadership - not to provide all of the support! ... CS has a very large amount of members, and can only work if all those members pull together to support one another! ... Even just a short reply to other members posts, so that they know that they are being heard, can go a long way towards helping them!

    Please also remember that it won't help a person if you go off topic in a thread they have started to ask for support - Please just be sensitive and begin your own thread to talk about anything sparked off by the other members thread! If you post in that way in someone else's thread, you run the risk of your post being edited or removed altogether.

  • Please do NOT post suicide notes (or posts which could be interpreted as such) on the forum!! This is behaviour which is incredibly damaging to other members, and to the staff, as there is little we can do to help in that situation! If you DO feel suicidal, please please contact a real life therapist, counsellor or support helpline. (there are a number of relevant helplines listed in our resources section.) We DO care about you, but are simply ill-equipped to deal with such a situation. If you post such a note you could unfortunately be subject to immediate removal from the forum!!

  • If a member announces that they are leaving the forum, their status will automatically be set to 'inactive', and they will lose private forum access. If they choose to return at any time after announcing that they are leaving, they will have to start over from the point of their return and re-meet all access requirements before gaining access again.

    In addition to this, we ask that anyone who is planning to leave the forums please contact us before posting your announcement. You can do that by posting in the Member Concerns & Resolution Place forum. This is so that we are aware of the situation, and so can help the remaining members to deal with the loss. Any announcements posted before receiving a reply from us first will automatically be removed, and the member will also be set to inactive status as described above

  • Please use only appropriate language. We are all here survivors of abuse, and we don't want to hear swearing unnecessarily. We're not saying you can never swear ... sometimes there are situations which may warrant it ... just don't do it just for the sake of it!

  • This forum is run by a group of christians, but it is first and foremost a survivor forum - not a Christian gathering place - therefore we ask that our non-christian members, and their views and beliefs, are respected. As such, 'heavy' Christian discussion should be kept to the Christian specific forums in 'The Mercy Place'; and we would suggest that it would be wise of members to be sure of other users personal boundaries regarding God and Christianity before posting 'God-stuff' to them! Many of our members (Christians included!) can be very triggered by religious or spiritual discussions or information, due to past abuses and experiences, hence the need to be sensitive to the individuals needs. In addition, any prejudices shown towards anyone of any beliefs - either publically or privately - will not be tolerated. You can read more about our Spiritual Content guidelines on the 'Everything you Need to Know About CS' forum.

  • We would ask that members refrain from gossipping about other users, staff, or about the forum itself. Gossip can cause major rifts in both personal relationships, and in the running of the forum - and is simply not worth the risk of hurting people! Any member found to be gossiping either publically or privately (particularly if in a malicious manner!) will be approached by the admin, and will be subject to being placed on probation, or to losing their membership altogether. You can read a full version of our gossip guidelines in the 'Everything you Need to Know About CS' forum.

    If you see a post that worries you, or a member approaches you attempting to gossip about another member, or about the staff or forum, please consider letting us know, so that we can help you resolve the issue, and protect other members from the same problem. Just drop us a line in the private 'Member Concerns and Resolution' Forum, where only Senior Staff members will be able to view your post, or contact any member of the senior staff team by pm or email.

  • Please take care to keep confidentiality here! Anything spoken within these 'four walls' should not be taken outside! Similarly, please take care not to bring problems or gossip from other forums to CS, as this can only cause disruption and unrest.

  • Please do NOT participate on the boards if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Apart from the possible embarrassment doing this might cause you, we also have many members who are triggered by alcohol and drugs, and the affects of them. If you do happen to participate in this state your posts will be removed and staff will contact you with a formal warning. Continued breaking of this rule could result in losing your membership.

  • Please use care regarding recommending medications, whether over the counter, herbal, or otherwise, to other members. Different people react differently to different medications. There is always the chance for allergic reactions or drug interactions when mixing even what appears to be a simple herb with medications that someone is already taking, and this could be dangerous. For this reason, such suggestions will automatically be removed from the forum for safety reasons.

    Our suggestion is that one always speak with their own personal doctor about the options available for them, and always talk to them before following through with any suggestion that might have worked for someone else.

  • Any member appearing to have joined for the sole purpose of posting spam, or advertising of any kind, will be subject to automatic and immediate banning.

  • Please respect our members personal boundaries - especially in male / female relationships!

  • Posting Rules

  • Create new threads in the most appropriate forum for the topic. Create the threads with clear, descriptive topic titles, indicative of the content within. When posting in another members thread, please keep to the topic of the thread as much as possible.

  • Signatures should be no more than 3 inches in height, and should include no more than 8 lines of text. Image files should be no larger than 12kb. Sound wavs, offensive language, and any quotes or pictures that could be triggering, are not permitted. Signatures should not make threads scroll horizontally on a 800 x 600 resolution screen.

  • Please remember that if you have too many PMs stored, you will not be able to receive any incoming PMs. Please keep your total amount of PMs to a minimum, allowing the mods & other members to PM you when needed. (Note - you will need to clear out your 'sent' box, too!)

  • When posting any articles or resources, always include a link to the site that it was taken from. Copying portions of text from other websites is infringing copyright laws and could result in this site being closed down!!

  • Please do not post links to websites without written approval from a member of the senior staff here. This is because we would want to vet those sites to ensure that they were safe for our members. If you want to post a link, even for copyright purposes, just post in the 'Member Concerns' forum, so we can check it out. :)

  • Please do not post politically leaning posts, or other posts that may encourage political debate, as those topics are not appropriate for CS forums.

  • Site resources; forum avatars; many of our signatures; and all other graphics here are copyrighted - so please dont take them to use elsewhere!!