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Forum Rules of Conduct
The rules of this site are designed to protect the members of Christian Survivors. We welcome you if you are honestly seeking to work on survivor issues in your life, and are willing to act within our rules when participating on our boards! At CS, our staff consistently work on the boards to maintain security and peace. We will always try to find a way to work through any problems with a member, before resorting to actions such as restricting access, or terminating a user account.
However, please understand that we will not tolerate trouble making, spamming, gossip, prejudice, manipulation, abusive or agressive behaviour, or 'preaching'. Serious or repeated breaking of the rules will not be tolerated in any circumstances.
Please note that in order to help insure the safety of all the members of the forum, we have in operation a three strikes policy.
On the first offense of a serious breach of the rules, members will recieve a formal warning. Second, they will be placed on 'probation' - meaning a diminishing of forum privileges such as access, & private messaging. Third, our admin will have no alternative but to ban the offending member from CS forums on a permanent basis.
It is also important for members to be aware that our staff have a policy of accountability to one another, as protection for themselves, and the members they work with. If you discuss your situation, in private, with a member of staff, they may speak with other more senior staff about it, as a point of help or advice for them. These discussions are kept strictly confidential and you will be kept anonymous where possible!
Thank you, in advance, for keeping to these rules, and thus respecting our staff & members! :)
General Rules
Please be courteous, kind, and respectful to other members on the forum. Name-calling and harassment of any type will not be tolerated. There are many hurting, fragile people who could be severely injured by your words! Always try to treat others as you would like to be treated!
Please be polite towards the staff members also - they do a hard and demanding job here, and they deserve to be shown respect. Any rude, abusive, or insulting behaviour towards a staff member may result in the loss of your membership at CS. (So please don't put us in that position!) If you have a concern, complaint, or an issue with a member of staff, or with the running of the forum, please use the confidential 'conflict & concerns' forum located in 'Fragile Hearts', to contact the administrators concerning this. (Only the admin, and the thread authors are able to view each thread, making the forum completely safe) Please do not post a aggrieved, argumentative or dissenting thread on the open forum, as it will be removed. Posting such things only causes stress, hurt, and worry for other members and staff alike!
If you want to post a message that may be potentially triggering, or upsetting, please be
thoughtful and post it in the relevant "trigger" folder.
We dont advocate the use of spoilers here but, trigger warnings in the title of a post can occasionally be useful. In certain situations such as RA triggers, staff may edit to add spoilers for everyone's safety, and remember - the trigger forums are there for a reason! Please use them for threads that are likely to be quite 'heavy' in nature! If you are posting a thread which may be triggering, please use a descriptive title. (for example, add *SA details* to the title of a thread which contains details of sexual abuse) - This enables other members to self care ... choosing to read only the threads which are safe for them.
As a general rule of thumb, we would say that if a post is stronger or more graphic in content than most of the posts in that forum, then it should be trigger warned. (If it is usual for that forum - for example, a post about emotions after abuse, in rainy days - then it needs no trigger warning because it is already in the appropriate forum!)
Above all, we expect that each member acts responsibly in the forum! You know better than we could whether certain types of posts would be more triggering to you than others ... so we ask that you moderate yourself in these matters! For more information on this, please see the 'guidelines on posting graphic or triggering posts', located within each public trigger forum.
If you have littles .. please ensure that they are always supervised and safe when reading on the forum!!!! Obviously, because littles are just kids, there are things on the main forum that are simply not appropriate or safe for them to be reading. It is very comparable to having our own '3d' children on the forum - it just wouldn't be appropriate for them to be reading in many areas ... you would want to monitor and screen what they had access to. We feel that littles both need & deserve this same level of care! You can find more detailed information regarding our DID posting guidelines, and the safety measures we have in place for inside kids, on the forum itself.
Please remember, many people who visit this site are in need of
support. Please treat them as you would like to be treated yourself! Christian Survivors is based around a philosophy of mutual care and support. The staff are here to supervise, and to provide safety and leadership - not to provide all of this support! ... CS can only work if all the members pull together to support one another! ... Even just a short reply to other members posts, so that they know that they are being heard, can go a long way towards helping them!
Please also remember that it won't help a person if you go off topic in a thread they have started to ask for support - Please just be sensitive and begin your own thread to talk about anything sparked off by the other members thread!
Please do NOT post suicide notes (or posts which could be interpreted as such) on the forum. This can be incredibly damaging to other members, and to the staff, as there is little we can do to help in that situation! If you DO feel suicidal, please please contact a real life therapist, counsellor or support helpline. (there are a number of relevant helplines listed in our resources section.) We DO care about you, but are simply ill-equipped to deal with such a situation. If you post such a note you could be subject to immediate removal from the forum!!
If a member announces that they are leaving the forum, their status will automatically be set to 'inactive', and they will lose private forum access. If they choose to return at any time after announcing that they are leaving, they will have to start over from the point of their return and re-meet all access requirements before gaining access again.
In addition to this, we ask that anyone who is planning to leave the forums please contact us before posting your announcement. You can do that by posting in the Member Concerns & Resolution Place forum. Any announcements posted before receiving a reply from us first will automatically be removed, and the member will also be set to inactive status as described above
Please use only appropriate language. We are a family of survivors of abuse, and we don't want to hear swearing unneccesarily. We're not saying never swear ... sometimes there are situations which may warrant it ... but don't just do it just for the sake of it!
This forum is run by a group of christians, but it is first and foremost a survivor forum - not a christian gathering place - therefore we ask that our non-christian members, and their views and beliefs, are respected. As such, 'heavy' christian discussion should be kept to the christian specific forums in 'The Mercy Place'; and we would suggest that it would be wise of members to be sure of other users personal boundaries regarding God and Christianity before posting 'God-stuff' to them! Many of our members (Christians included!) can be very triggered by religious or spiritual discussions or information, hence the need to be sensitive to the individuals needs.
We would ask that members refrain from gossipping about other users, staff, or about the forum itself. Gossip can cause major rifts in both personal relationships, and in the running of the forum - and is simply not worth the risk of hurting people! Any member found to be gossiping (particularly if in a malicious manner!) will be approached by the admin, and will be subject to being placed on probation, or to losing their membership altogether.
Please take care to keep confidentiality here! Anything spoken within these 'four walls' should not be taken outside! Similarly, please take care not to bring problems or gossip from other forums to CS, as this can only cause disruption and unrest.
Any member appearing to have joined for the sole purpose of posting spam, or advertising of any kind, will be subject to automatic and immediate banning.
Please respect our members personal boundaries - especially in male / female relationships!
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Posting Rules
Create new threads in the most appropriate forum for the topic. Create the threads with clear, descriptive topic titles, indicative of the content within. When posting in another members thread, please keep to the topic of the thread as much as possible.
Signatures should be no more than 3 inches in height, and should include no more than 8 lines of text. Image files should be no larger than 12kb. Sound wavs, offensive language, and any quotes or pictures that could be triggering, are not permitted. Signatures should not make threads scroll horizontally on a 800 x 600 resolution screen.
Please remember that if you have too many PMs stored, you will not be able to receive any incoming PMs. Please keep your total amount of PMs to a minimum, allowing the mods & other members to PM you when needed. (Note - you will need to clear out your 'sent' box, too!)
When posting any articles or resources, always include a link to the site that it was taken from. Copying portions of text from other websites is infringing copyright laws and could result in this site being closed down.
Please do not post links to websites, apart for copyright purposes, without written approval from a member of the senior staff here. This is because we would want to vet those sites to ensure that they were safe for our members.
Site resources; forum avatars; many of our signatures; and all other graphics here are copyrighted - so please dont take them!!
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