12 Valuable Steps to Raise Your Self Esteem

**Brina** · 25-09-2004, 15:02

Step 1
Stop comparing yourself with other people. There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less. If you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat.

Step 2
Stop putting yourself down. You can't develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities. Whether speaking about your appearances, your career, your relationships, your financial situation, or any other aspects of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments.

Step 3
Accept all compliments with "thank you." Ever received a compliment and replied," Oh, it was nothing." When you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all compliments with a simple Thank You."

Step 4
Use affirmations to enhance your self-esteem. On the back of a business card or small index card, write out a statement such as "I like and accept my self." or "I am valuable, lovable person and deserve the best in life." Carry the card with you. Repeat the statement several times during the day, especially at night before going to bed and after getting up in the morning. Whenever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to experience positive feelings about your statement.

Step 5
Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs on self-esteem. Whatever material you allow to dominate mind will eventually take root and affect your behavior. If you watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports of murders and business rip off; you will grow cynical and pessimistic. Similarly, if you read books or listen to programs, that are positive in nature, you will take on these characteristics.

Step 6
Associate with positive, supportive people. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is lowered. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself in the best possible environment to raise your self-esteem.

Step 7
Make a list of your past successes. This doesn't necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments. It can include your "minor victories," like learning to skate, graduating from high school, receiving an award or promotion, reaching a business goal, etc. Read this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success.

Step 8
Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits and you'll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.

Step 9
Start giving more. I'm not talking about money. Rather, I mean that you must begin to give more of yourself to those around your. When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and you begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem.

Step 10
Get involved in work and activities you love. It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you despise. Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. Even if you can't explore alternative career options at the present time, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoyable.

Step 11
Be true to yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You'll never gain your own respect and feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self-esteem is lowered.

Step 12
Take action! You won't develop high self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and back away from challenges. When you take action - regardless of the ensuing result - you feel better about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy - and you will undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem.

The "real you" is a magnificent, unique being with enormous potential and capacity for experiencing love of yourself and extending love to others. As your self-esteem grows, this "real you" emerges. You begin to take more risks and not be afraid of failure; you aren't as concerned with getting approval of others; your relationships are much more rewarding; you pursue activities that bring you joy and satisfaction; and you will make a positive contribution to the world. Most importantly, high self esteem brings you peace of mind... when you're alone, you truly appreciate the person you're with - yourself.

**Bugsy** · 25-09-2004, 17:47

((((((Brina!)))))) thank you for posting this.. thinking of you and hope you are having a good day sweetie.

Susie · 25-09-2004, 18:26

Thank you Brina, I totally need this...... I have needed this like forever....

**Brina** · 26-09-2004, 04:52

welcome

**Bugsy** · 26-09-2004, 05:01

((((Brina!)))) thank you for being you! you are so incredibly helpful and i am grateful and thankful for all of these posts! you are so precious! much love to you sweetie:)

**Brina** · 26-09-2004, 05:06

((((((bugsy))))))))

Victor · 26-09-2004, 13:52

TY Brina even doing just one of those would make a big difference, at least I know it would for me. :)

**Brina** · 27-09-2004, 08:57

yep!

couldnt agree more victor.

Jsea · 29-06-2008, 06:58

Oh my goodness, you ain'ta kiddin'! What a great and very helpful post!! WoW

Thanks for all these reposts!!

**Ann** · 29-06-2008, 07:00

They are good aren't they. Brina gives alot of really good info!

Jsea · 29-06-2008, 07:01

Yes, indeed, she does, Ann!

Snow Angel · 22-09-2008, 13:23

Brina

Thank you for posting this, very helpful. I also like the post on Personal Responsibility but it was closed so I couldn't thank you.

I think it's great you post these things on self help they are very helpful.

gracious · 22-09-2008, 19:38

Thank you so much for this, its an issue I struggle with hugely. there is a lot of really good things from small steps to huge life changes! think I might start small!! thankyou for taking the time, gracious

**Ann** · 28-09-2008, 15:39

(((Linda))) (((gracious)))

alaco · 29-09-2008, 15:35

Brina, you are so right. Very good tips.

Annette

Holding Tight · 08-11-2008, 00:24

Most excellent of tips.

Monica · 11-02-2009, 04:52

i found this so helpful i read the info to my sister and it helped her too,made her look at things in a new light as well as for me so doubly thanks!!!,Moni

**Bugsy** · 11-02-2009, 04:55

that's great this helped both you and your sister :)

blessing · 12-01-2010, 13:16

Thanks Brina!

Like the "comparison game" part. Hit the nail on the spot.

It *is* rather tempting to c/p, isn't it?

If only we are content with what we have... and don't have.

J74 · 09-03-2010, 23:44

This too, Brina, looks like it will be very helpful for me.

25-09-2004, 15:02	#1
Brina Senior Staff Support Staff Small Group Moderator PA to Small Group Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 24,403 Gender: F Mood: No Hugs	12 Valuable Steps to Raise Your Self Esteem Step 1 Stop comparing yourself with other people. There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less. If you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat. Step 2 Stop putting yourself down. You can't develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities. Whether speaking about your appearances, your career, your relationships, your financial situation, or any other aspects of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Step 3 Accept all compliments with "thank you." Ever received a compliment and replied," Oh, it was nothing." When you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all compliments with a simple Thank You." Step 4 Use affirmations to enhance your self-esteem. On the back of a business card or small index card, write out a statement such as "I like and accept my self." or "I am valuable, lovable person and deserve the best in life." Carry the card with you. Repeat the statement several times during the day, especially at night before going to bed and after getting up in the morning. Whenever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to experience positive feelings about your statement. Step 5 Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs on self-esteem. Whatever material you allow to dominate mind will eventually take root and affect your behavior. If you watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports of murders and business rip off; you will grow cynical and pessimistic. Similarly, if you read books or listen to programs, that are positive in nature, you will take on these characteristics. Step 6 Associate with positive, supportive people. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is lowered. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about yourself in the best possible environment to raise your self-esteem. Step 7 Make a list of your past successes. This doesn't necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments. It can include your "minor victories," like learning to skate, graduating from high school, receiving an award or promotion, reaching a business goal, etc. Read this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success. Step 8 Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits and you'll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve. Step 9 Start giving more. I'm not talking about money. Rather, I mean that you must begin to give more of yourself to those around your. When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and you begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem. Step 10 Get involved in work and activities you love. It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you despise. Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. Even if you can't explore alternative career options at the present time, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoyable. Step 11 Be true to yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You'll never gain your own respect and feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self-esteem is lowered. Step 12 Take action! You won't develop high self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and back away from challenges. When you take action - regardless of the ensuing result - you feel better about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy - and you will undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem. The "real you" is a magnificent, unique being with enormous potential and capacity for experiencing love of yourself and extending love to others. As your self-esteem grows, this "real you" emerges. You begin to take more risks and not be afraid of failure; you aren't as concerned with getting approval of others; your relationships are much more rewarding; you pursue activities that bring you joy and satisfaction; and you will make a positive contribution to the world. Most importantly, high self esteem brings you peace of mind... when you're alone, you truly appreciate the person you're with - yourself. __________________ “The children that the world almost breaks become the adults that save the world.” – Frank Warren

25-09-2004, 17:47	#2
Bugsy Support Staff Small Group Moderator Prayer Team Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 81,626 Gender: F	((((((Brina!)))))) thank you for posting this.. thinking of you and hope you are having a good day sweetie. __________________ About CS \| Profile \| Affirmations \| Prayer \| Donate And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

26-09-2004, 04:52	#4
Brina Senior Staff Support Staff Small Group Moderator PA to Small Group Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 24,403 Gender: F Mood: No Hugs	welcome __________________ “The children that the world almost breaks become the adults that save the world.” – Frank Warren

26-09-2004, 05:01	#5
Bugsy Support Staff Small Group Moderator Prayer Team Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 81,626 Gender: F	((((Brina!)))) thank you for being you! you are so incredibly helpful and i am grateful and thankful for all of these posts! you are so precious! much love to you sweetie:) __________________ About CS \| Profile \| Affirmations \| Prayer \| Donate And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

26-09-2004, 05:06	#6
Brina Senior Staff Support Staff Small Group Moderator PA to Small Group Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 24,403 Gender: F Mood: No Hugs	((((((bugsy)))))))) __________________ “The children that the world almost breaks become the adults that save the world.” – Frank Warren

26-09-2004, 13:52	#7
Victor Companion Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Eastern North Carolina Posts: 8,056 Mood: It's getting better.	TY Brina even doing just one of those would make a big difference, at least I know it would for me. :)

27-09-2004, 08:57	#8
Brina Senior Staff Support Staff Small Group Moderator PA to Small Group Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 24,403 Gender: F Mood: No Hugs	yep! couldnt agree more victor. __________________ “The children that the world almost breaks become the adults that save the world.” – Frank Warren

29-06-2008, 06:58	#9
Jsea Companion Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Texas, USA Posts: 8,547 Gender: F Mood: Deep Blue	Oh my goodness, you ain'ta kiddin'! What a great and very helpful post!! WoW Thanks for all these reposts!!

29-06-2008, 07:00	#10
Ann Support Staff Small Group Moderator Prayer Team Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 24,380 Gender: F	They are good aren't they. Brina gives alot of really good info! __________________ Forum News \| Donate \| Profile \| Prayer \| Resources My God is changeless in his love for me, and he will come and help me. Psalm 59:10

29-06-2008, 07:01	#11
Jsea Companion Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Texas, USA Posts: 8,547 Gender: F Mood: Deep Blue	Yes, indeed, she does, Ann!

22-09-2008, 13:23	#12
Snow Angel Companion Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: US Posts: 1,785 Gender: F Mood: Scared	Brina Thank you for posting this, very helpful. I also like the post on Personal Responsibility but it was closed so I couldn't thank you. I think it's great you post these things on self help they are very helpful.

22-09-2008, 19:38	#13
gracious Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: England Posts: 60 Gender: F	Thank you so much for this, its an issue I struggle with hugely. there is a lot of really good things from small steps to huge life changes! think I might start small!! thankyou for taking the time, gracious

28-09-2008, 15:39	#14
Ann Support Staff Small Group Moderator Prayer Team Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 24,380 Gender: F	(((Linda))) (((gracious))) __________________ Forum News \| Donate \| Profile \| Prayer \| Resources My God is changeless in his love for me, and he will come and help me. Psalm 59:10

29-09-2008, 15:35	#15
alaco Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Arizona Posts: 472 Gender: F Mood: just getting by	Brina, you are so right. Very good tips. Annette

08-11-2008, 00:24	#16
Holding Tight Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 1,677 Gender: F	Most excellent of tips. __________________ God comes to our lonely, anxious hearts and whispers our name. God says "I see both the fear you have of closeness and the deep longing you have to belong. I have come to comfort you and to respond to your need. I have been seeking relationship with you. You belong. You belong to me. You are my child."

11-02-2009, 04:52	#17
Monica Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario Canada Posts: 628 Gender: F Mood: the journey continues..	i found this so helpful i read the info to my sister and it helped her too,made her look at things in a new light as well as for me so doubly thanks!!!,Moni __________________ "So if the Son sets you free,you will be free indeed" John 8:36

11-02-2009, 04:55	#18
Bugsy Support Staff Small Group Moderator Prayer Team Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 81,626 Gender: F	that's great this helped both you and your sister :) __________________ About CS \| Profile \| Affirmations \| Prayer \| Donate And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

12-01-2010, 13:16	#19
blessing New Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 101 Gender: F Mood: :(	Thanks Brina! Like the "comparison game" part. Hit the nail on the spot. It is rather tempting to c/p, isn't it? If only we are content with what we have... and don't have.

09-03-2010, 23:44	#20
J74 member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 180 Gender: F	This too, Brina, looks like it will be very helpful for me.